My Approach to Coaching Women
Overcoming the forces that restrict women in the workplace
How coaching can help women succeed
Much has been written about the benefits of greater diversity within business. McKinsey’s Women Matter study in 2007 identified that companies with three or more women in senior management functions outperformed their sector on nine management effectiveness criteria and demonstrated stronger financial performance.
Despite these benefits and the fact that women are entering the workforce on an equal footing to their male counterparts, the proportion of women still – according to another McKinsey report – reduces as seniority increases.
So why is this still happening?
The analogy of a glass ceiling has been used extensively but the cause of the loss of women at senior levels in the workforce is more complex. In an HBR article Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership, Alice Eagly suggests that gender bias occurs consistently throughout the levels of an organisation, while Bruce Peltier in The Psychology of Executive Coaching summarises that “the absence of women at the highest levels represents an accumulation of restricting forces throughout a woman’s career”.
What are these “restricting forces”, and how can women overcome these challenges to succeed in the workplace?
Stereotypes and prejudice
The business world is more aware of gender bias than it has ever been however, unconscious bias is still ingrained in society’s belief system. Commonly-held prejudices include the beliefs that women do not work well together, women are too emotional, and women are riskier hires because they are likely to discard their careers after becoming mothers.
Women bear more family responsibilities
What about the unequal burden of family responsibilities? A study of Harvard graduates revealed that 77% believed prioritising family over work is the primary barrier to women’s career advancement.
Conflicting research means it’s not clear whether women opt out of the workplace to look after children, but there is consistent evidence that women remain at the centre of family life and continue to bear a greater responsibility for organising family life, child care and care for the elderly.
COVID-19 has also provided plenty of anecdotal evidence that, during lockdown, more women have ‘leaned in’ to childcare / home schooling than men while continuing to fulfil their full time roles, and further unbalancing the share of family responsibilities. More positively, the last year has at least normalised – and legitimised – the idea of working from home and flexible working which, in the longer run, must be positive for women.
Lack of visibility
Another restricting force is lack of visibility. We all know that, as Peltier says, “serious career effectiveness requires visibility”, but that visibility comes though promoting achievements and being assertive about articulating ambition. Women can lack this critical visibility as a result of having poorer networks and doing less self-promotion; they can often minimise their personal contribution, using the pronoun “we” rather than “I”.
Lack of female role models
Then there’s the need for aspirational female role models to provide an important way to observe different communication and leadership techniques to inform our own authentic style. A lack of senior women provides fewer opportunities for junior women to see women leaders in action. If you can’t see it, you can’t be it.
Feminine leadership style
Finally, it is important to consider women’s and men’s leadership styles as a potential obstacle. Business has been dominated by men with a traditional hierarchical leadership style and the perception that the qualities needed for leadership are those naturally found in men. London Business School’s Professor of Organisational Behaviour Herminia Ibarra reflects how, “The ideal leader, like the ideal man, is decisive, assertive, and independent.”
More positively for women, technology and global competition are forcing new ways of doing business, fostering creativity and valuing people skills. This lends itself to a more connective, influencing style of leadership which is more associated with feminine qualities. This is great news for women as mimicking male qualities has generally not been successful.
My approach to coaching women
Given these “restrictive forces”, the challenge for women is how to stay true to their authentic leadership style while succeeding in the current business environment. This is where coaching has a key role to play.
My framework for coaching women has three stages:
Understand your reality
Identify your purpose
Get in the driving seat
1. Understand your reality
We know how the environment in which women live and work, coupled with a naturally less self-promoting style, may be limiting career progression. A problem is individuals may entirely blame the company for their perceived lack of career progression, taking no personal accountability.
So, to enable effective change to take place, I help my clients better understand the organisational context through sharing literature or discussing the “restrictive forces”. I then sensitively explore with them how they may be personally contributing to their current work situation. I have found it effective to explore a client’s limiting beliefs such as not believing they are appropriately qualified. This then unlocks specific areas in which to target change.
2. Identify your purpose
By focusing on strengths and purpose, I support clients in considering who they want to be without reference to what they ‘should’ do. This is especially important for women given the lack of role models and unconscious bias.
As a leader, I have met men and women who have never reflected on their strengths and what they really want to achieve. I believe strengths-based tools can help clients understand what makes them thrive. I use tools which shine a light on those strengths that are being overused and, importantly, those that remain untapped.
Alongside a greater awareness of strengths, I begin a conversation with a client on life purpose. It provides a useful way to validate whether goals and actions identified in coaching sessions align with this broader purpose.
3. Get in the driving seat
With a better understanding of the landscape and with a clear destination in mind, I help clients get in the driving seat of their career through developing their network and taking action.
That means creating a strategy to expand their network: targeting those who can help them grow; people who have different perspectives; and, people who can help make things happen. Networking is a critical part of an individual’s action plan to reach their purpose, increase their visibility and confidently demonstrate their value.
I suggest to clients that they identify a sponsor. Sponsors with the right influence have an important role to play – particularly when it comes to managing “politics” which many women have an aversion to – given the paradox that women who promote themselves can be perceived as aggressive and selfish, but those that don’t are perceived as unambitious.
It is all too easy to get caught up in day-to-day tasks but real change needs action. I share techniques with clients to enable them to create space to think strategically, within and outside of coaching sessions. I then use the simple but powerful GROW model to help clients develop practical actions to step towards authentic goals.
No limits – take control
Reflecting on this exploration into female leadership styles and gender biases, women need to understand that – despite the progress in recent years – biases continue to exist in business. It is also imperative that women develop a greater awareness of the limitations that we impose on ourselves. Tackling these two challenges allows change to take place.
I truly believe coaching can enable women to develop their authentic leadership style, take control and get in the driving seat of their careers.
References
Coughlin,L., Wingard,E., Hollihan,K. (2005) Enlightened Power
Eagly,A., Carli,L. (Harvard Business Review September 2007) Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership
Ely,R., Stone,P., Ammerman,C. (Harvard Business Review December 2014) Rethink What You Know about High Achieving Women
Ethicsalarms.com (2014) The Fundamental Attribution Error and The Gender Pay Gap
Helgesen,S. (1990) The Female Advantage
Ibarra,H., Ely,R., Kolb,D. (Harvard Business Review September 2013) Women Rising
McKinsey (2007) Women Matter
McKinsey (2008) Centered Leadership - how talented women thrive
McKinsey (2011) Unlocking the full potential of women in the US economy
Peltier,B. (2010) The Psychology of Executive Coaching